As a child I spent hours dwelling in the forest, singing to myself and the trees. I have always felt different somehow. Ever since kindergarten I knew that my interests and mindset was different than others. I rember feeling so old…So alienated, and at times- alone🌑 When I grew up, it wasn’t cool to be different. It might have been the time – it might have been place – or it might have been the people. Maybe things would have been easier if I grew up in a bigger town, who knows. All I know is that the small town life can be harsh… I remember people pointing at me and laughing, talking behind my back or shouting at me simply because of the way I looked. What did I look like? I dressed pretty much like I do now – which was quite the contrast to what other youngsters dressed like back then. (We’re talking years back in time here.) People weren’t that open minded. And what do you know, Suddenly, it’s fashion! Suddenly, it’s more than okay to shop at second hand shops and to wear the weirdest creations you can possibly imagine. The things I used to get such a hard time for is suddenly haute couture, so to speak. The weirder, the better. Movies and TV series like Lord of the rings and Game of Thrones made it cool to be a fantasy geek and you know what? That’s great! As a grown up, people are approaching me and giving me compliments instead of laughing and pointing fingers. I will probably never get completely used to the acceptance because the child in me remembers what being different used to be like. Though it is odd, I am glad that people are more accepting of different styles.
I still feel old, but I never feel alone. I learned to appreciate silence and solitude, and through that I found my tribe. Why do I write this? Why would I share it? It is certainly not to portray myself as pitiful. I write this because I know I am not the only person to go through childhood and adolescence feeling like a complete freak. I write this because seeing so many young people striving so hard to fit in makes me feel sad. If any of you feel lonely – remember that there is someone for everyone. It may not feel like it right now, but I promise you there is. And if someone is giving you a hard time for being you – remember this: IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S THEM. Stay strong and fierce – be yourself and don’t give any fucks about fashion or trying to fit in. You are better than that. I am rooting for you!