Where have I been?

My life changed dramatically in 2019, and 2020 hasn’t been any less strange and unusual (But that’s a story for next blog post;)

I’ve added a few videos that I think sums things up pretty well. My blog has been very quiet, and I’ve been dreading coming back simply because I didn’t know how to do it. I finally figured out how – I need to get this out there, and move onwards. Here we go: 

 

About Hooked on The Look: I was quite nervous about joining the show – as I knew it would mean leaving all control to the editors, and I had no idea about how I would be portrayed. That being said, I am really glad I agreed to do it, because I feel like they showed me as I am- my personality in all its awkwardness shone through the screen. The cameraman was such a nice guy- I think I owe much to him, because he made me feel comfortable enough to really be myself. Also the people behind the show were a true pleasure to work with! Other than that – it has come to my attention that most people who have commented (there are over 3000 comments on youtube) have been super nice! I made the decision not to read comments on this video early on, as I know how toxic the internet can be, (Also – who has time to read that many comments?? It’s insane) but some of my friends have sent me screenshots of really nice remarks from people. I must say that this truly warms my heathen heart… I’m only human after all.

But I have to say – Like all reality shows – this interview has been edited and some of my answers have been left out/cut short. Nothing wrong with that – it is what it is. I’m just saying that some bits of it can be confusing when you don’t have the whole picture. The o.n.l.y thing that bothered me about the way it was portrayed is that how Varg and I met wasn’t explained properly. The way I answered it seemed like I was confused about my own feelings about him – and I want to set that straight. I can handle reading stupid rumors about shallow things- but I can’t have that I am not straight forward about my feelings. That’s not me. So I’ll set just that straight: Varg and I met after agreeing to collaborate musically, and I wasn’t looking for a man. That’s why I didn’t expect to fall in love. BUT once I actually met him – I felt at home looking into his eyes. Truth to be told, I am a hopeless romantic – but I had stopped believing that I would meet someone who actually understood me, I’d given up on love, so to speak.

All in all it was a really good experience, and I am glad I agreed to doing the show, mostly because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, and that has been good to me. There is no way you can be on the internet without getting a lot of shit, and I needed to let go of my inner control freak and just let people stand for their own words. What I’m saying is that agreeing to do interviews like these come with a price – the few times I’ve fallen for temptation and read comments on youtube and facebook, I’ve learned that some people have made really fucking nasty comments and tried to spread rumors about me and Varg. How these dimwits come up with half of the shit they type – I dunno, and I’m not going to go into explaining anything that falls for its own stupidity. So folks – if you ever join the hooked on the look family – prepare yourselves for trolls. Just don’t fall for the temptation of diving into their wormholes. You’re better than that ❤ Okay… I can’t help it – I have to smack the trolls with something – I’m not a spoiled brat, everything I have I’ve worked hard for. I have a higher education, and I am a self made badass business woman. Also, I’m a clinical psychologist (must hurt to know that I have brains too). Lastly: I’ve never had surgery. You can go cry about something else now.

Another thing that happened in 2019 – We performed live at Midgardsblot. Varg was truly the missing piece in my life, both musically and as a partner. I know that meeting him changed my course in life, and allowed me to go placed that I didn’t know how to reach. About our performance on the Valhalla stage: We were not supposed to be on the main stage, as we were scheduled for the Gildehall. Midgardsblot asked us to change stages because another band could not make it. Standing on the main stage was one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, truly. I had dreamed of doing just that for years, and suddenly – there we were. Sure, I wished I could have prepared for a main stage show – with props and all. But we figured – why not say yes to this, nothing turns out the way you plan for it to either way. Being on that stage was surreal, like standing naked in a glass cage, but I enjoyed every moment of it. As I sung “Valfar” – a song I wrote about Odin – two ravens were circling above the stage. We had 1500 people watching us, some listened with skepticism but I noticed that the few skeptics stayed. And some of them even cried. Big biker men weeping as we were playing singing, what an absolute honor.

Varg actually had a very bad fever that day, but as the professional he is – he pulled through. Backup vocals is by my sister, actually. You might notice a bit of similarities in us, naturally so. This song is called Voluspá, and when I wrote it, I found inspiration in the Poetic Edda.

Varg and I made this song, and we made the music video. YES it is low budget. YES we did everything ourselves, and YES it could be SO much better if we had help. We’ll team up with a camera crew and leave it to the professionals next time for sure! But here it is, with all its flaws.

We released this song in 2020 and now we’re working on new material. I have so much more to tell you, but I’ll have to spare some for the next blog post.

All in all –
Brace yourselves – I’m back, Viking Bitches!

Much love,

Sol, AKA The Viking Queen.

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